i prefer to embrace the profit

Question. How does one get rid of a monkey that seems to have commandeered one's yacht? Inquiring minds would like to know.

( Black Ops )

You know what really freaks me out? Zombies. Zombies really freak me out. Seriously, man, if there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm finding me some pills and I'm throwin' 'em back with some scotch, because I would absolutely rather die than deal with any of that crazy shit. It's all so... messy. And projectile. Unsanitary. Eurgh. But hey, at least when you shoot 'em twice they don't come back to life, huh?

... Also, note to self: when having a lady friend over, do not randomly select 28 Days Later as the movie of the evening. Pretty much eliminates every chance you've got of getting lucky, and what does that leave you with, my friend? An entire night – and birthday, I should mention! – wasted. What a crying damn shame.

Anyway, hello or whatever. I'm Alan, he's Aladdin, and we'll be your resident sleazeball-with-a-heart-of-gold for the evening. Sure as shit hope yours is going better than mine!

( Black Ops )

( Oh, I am a prince, after all. With my friends, I always let them see the knife coming. )